Love Eluding You? Let Go and It May Find You
How many times have you heard someone say it was when they weren't looking for love that they found it? Often they'll say, "I had just accepted the possibility that I may not find someone and realized that I'd be ok." Or, "It's ok if I'm single for the rest of my life." It's a paradox. We're taught to focus on what we want and to take action until we reach our target. Yet if we focus or hold on too tight to the target, it eludes our grasp and gets further and further away. What's a single gal or guy to do? I needed an answer so I called relationship coach Karen Jones. I figured if anyone knew the answer she would. Karen has been working with and listening to hundreds of single and married women for eight years through her 'Heart Matters' (http://www.heartmatter.net) coaching company. When I asked her for an explanation of this paradox she explained it like this: "Think of it in terms of energy. There is a flow to it; the more attached you are to an outcome, the more you squeeze the flow, and you either slow it down, divert it, or simply shut if off. I like to use the imagery of being in the shower, and grabbing a bar of soap. If you squeeze too hard the soap jumps out of your hand. It's like that with relationships. If you squeeze too hard around relationship energy it becomes too hard to hold. Loosen your grip, and the soap (relationship) is there." She then went on to explain the solution. "You have to decide you're just going to be happy in life, no matter what. Make your life work now. Do what you love to do, and spend time in ways that fulfill you. One indirect benefit of that decision (and way of being), is this: that energy is very attractive. You're doing things that interest you, which will create opportunities for you to meet people that you enjoy; men as well as women who'd be good to spend time with. Just to clarify. This doesn't mean you give up on your vision of having a happy, successful marriage. You need to keep that dream alive in your heart. It does mean you let go of the specific details you have pictured in your mind about your dream. For example: your husband will be 6'2" tall and have blue eyes and blond hair, you'll have 2 kids - a twin boy and girl, and your house will be in this city on this street etc. Trust that your vision will unfold and that it may look very different from your picture. In fact, it's often better than what you could have possibly imagined." It's like this invisible fine-line exists. While you need to clearly see and know what you want and take action to make your intention a reality, at the same time you have to be ok if you don't get it. Expect to get it yet don't be attached to getting the outcome. If you find yourself holding on too tight, just let go and enjoy life. Love may find you. Sue Bond shares dating stories, tips, dating site reviews, and news on what works and doesn't work in the world of online dating on her online dating site. Check out the blog! For women who want to have the relationship of their dreams, visit Karen Jones at http://www.heartmatter.net
Related News
Lawyers: Hudson in-law angered by wife's dating - The Associated Press
SNAP Interactive Expects Fourth Quarter Revenue to Exceed $900000 - MarketWatch
Parents of Murdered Dating Violence Victim, Legislators, and ... - MarketWatch
Recession dating, as much art as science, but its official, the US ... - Examiner.com
Safety-in-numbers dating - Blinq
Safety-in-numbers datingBlinq, PA -4 hours agoThey're participating in the recently reinvented social experiment known as organized group dating, billed as a low-key way to meet friends and lovers ... |
Rabbi permits double dating 'for marriage - Ynetnews
Rabbi permits double dating'for marriageYnetnews, Israel -7 hours agoAfter Rabbi Shlomo Aviner recently ruled that double dating was prohibited, another rabbi, Ramat Gan's Chief Rabbi Yaakov Ariel, now claims that the ... |
Hockey and Hollywood: Sean Avery's dating history and the NHL's ... - National Post
Dot Net WWE News - Brie Bella dating a famous musician - ProWrestling.net
Hudson Murder Suspect Angry Over Wife's Dating - Mom Logic
Westwick and Szohr Dating? - San Francisco Chronicle
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Love Discrimination
Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking for love on the internet is shameful? The discrimination is particularly evident if you are looking for a foreign bride. I met my wife, Eileen, who is Filipina, on the internet. The narrow-minded nay sayers like labeling this media as "mail order bride" They seem to believe these ladies are enslaved by Western men who are seeking a foreign wife. And if by chance a relationship of this sort does go sour, they use this as all-inclusive evidence that looking for love on the internet is morally wrong.
Internet Dating Tips for Beginners
There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are completely free and others are payable sites. Both type of sites has its own benefits, but lets discuss about the situation, where you have found your possible dating candidate already. I will write this article from a men's point of view, because I'm a male myself.
Meeting Your Online Date in Safety
Here are some common sense safety tips for meeting your online date in person. Your instincts will play a strong role in keeping you safe too, so listen to them and take action if you feel uncomfortable or alarmed at any time. Remember, there's also a good chance that your date is perfectly genuine. Tread a sensible line between optimism and caution and your date will be safe and enjoyable.
Objections Are Signs Somebody Is Interested
The fact is, most people think they handle objections with ease.
The reality paints a different picture. There are claims that you
could have closed a large % of people who gave you objections by
simply understanding why the person you are talking to is objecting.
Oh...and by keeping your mouth closed for a minute or two.
Take Your Time
How long do you think it takes to really get to know someone to the point where you could marry them? Is 1 month long enough? Is 6 months long enough? Is 1 year long enough? What do you think of people who believe in love at first site? Is it infatuation or genuine love? I don´t intend to answer these questions, but how you answer them will impact how you approach dating and relationships.
Have You Tried Online Dating, Only to be Disappointed?
Millions of people subscribe to Online dating services, but very few of them actually take the time to learn what it takes to be successful on them before signing up. By going into the Online-dating scene uneducated, many people are unsuccessful in their online dating endeavors, and are unable to find people that they are compatible with. By making a few simple changes to the way you online date you can dramatically change your results, and immediately start meeting quality people that you would like to date, and even have them start contacting you.
Online Dating - Is Music the Food of Love?
"If music be the food of love, play on". So said William Shakespeare in one of his most famous theatrical lines. The Bard understood very well the power music has to ignite passion and elicit emotional response. And who would disagree?
Yahoo Personals Offers a Great Way to Meet and Date New People
With more people turning to online dating every year, it's only fair to say that Yahoo personals is rising to be one of the most successful dating services on the Internet today!
You Dont Have To Be A Genius To Write A Love Poem
Love poems are a wonderfully romantic gesture and can often express your thoughts far more eloquently than verbal communication.
Why Attractive Women Meet Me Online..
Why attractive women meet men online.
Looks or Heart?
No matter how you want to spin it, beautiful people are just
that, beautiful. However, to what degree does it play into
you finding your perfect match?
Creating a Great Online Dating Profile
First impressions are important, which is why it is essential to create an appealing, but honest profile of yourself. After all, this is the only information that a potential suitor has to go on initially and the decision on whether or not to contact you will be based upon what he or she reads in your profile. A great photo alone is not enough. After all, would you really want someone to choose you based purely on the way that you look rather than the person you are?
How To Have Sex On A First Date
Guys have all different motives for trying to be successful with women. Personally, I love relationships, because why would I want to sleep with a chick just once?
Is it Lust or Love -- How to Tell the Difference
Far too many people, both men and women alike, confuse lust for love. Physical attraction alone will not withstand the test of time in relationships. Physical attraction is an important factor but must never be the only factor you rely upon when choosing a mate. Many make the mistake of confusing lust and love and end up broken-hearted when the relationship doesn't last.
Tips for Creating a Successful Personal Online Dating Profile
Your profile is the key to meeting your perfect match at online dating and personals services so it's surprising that many profiles are mediocre at best. With a little extra time, thought and effort, and the help of these tips, you can make yours a winner and attract a large pool of admirers to take your pick from.
Internet Dating - Its Not For Geeks
Six months ago an old school friend and I were chatting over coffee, putting the world to rights as women do. She was bemoaning her lack of success in meeting the "right sort" of men. I asked her if she had tried using an internet dating service, and the look of horror that quickly appeared on her face gave the instant answer ? of course not! Internet dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate, geeky or freaky.
Using the Internet as a Method for Adult Dating
In this day and age, many find it hard to find someone that can share their passion and love with. With so many people experiencing a hard time with relationships and many have gone through failed affairs, a multitude have given up and just moved on. Adult dating seems so awkward to many because they feel they don't have the same vigor and charisma that they used to. They pine for their lost youth and feel a bit of insecurity. That should not be the case though, dating is not exclusive for those who are young, and adults have the right to experience love and passion in their life. This is the fuel that makes life a bit exciting and something that can make us look forward to the new day.
Do Men Want Classy Women?
Ladies, this one is for you.
Your mother always told you "Don't give away the farm."
Yet men have been saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
It's a paradox; women think they need to put out, or they'll lose their man. Men don't want a woman who puts out; at least not long term they don't.
Are you the type of woman who men take home to bed; or the type who men take home to meet Mom?
Men: Never Compliment a Woman You Want to Date
Hello Lucia,
Online Dating Beginners Quiz
|
