8 Things That Maketh Not The Lady
1. Tattoos. Tattoos used to be the colouring of soldiers, sailors, mafiosi and punk rockers. About ten years ago, they became fashionable. The lower-middle classes started taking them up. Unfortunately, unlike last years' shoes, tattoos can't be taken to the thrift shop and disposed of. To a certain class of person, tattoos are 'cool'. To another, they are a graffito on the temple of the soul. They mark a woman definitively as lower class, alienated, depressed, and a bit daft. They're also a handy way to identify one absolutely to the authorities. Which shows how stupid some crooks are. The same goes for piercings. My family are farmers. I associate nose rings with bulls, and piercings with cattle tags. They are a haven of dirt, infection, and their openings look unsightly. With tattoos and piercings, before you've opened your mouth, you've already typed yourself to people you meet. 2. Highlights and streaks. Are you blonde, or brunette? Make up your mind! These might have been novel ten years ago. Now they just look common. Not all gentlemen prefer blondes. A healthy head of untinted brunette or raven dark hair is a pleasant novelty these days. It is true that blondes have more fun. I used to be one! Most people on the planet are dark. A non-blonde with blonde hair looks 'interesting'. Now this fashion is done to death, however. If they're doing it in Romford, it's buried! 3. Big hoop earrings. Unmistakably part of the wardrobe of the gypsy. Which is fine if you are one. Strangely popular. Perhaps they're to make the wearer's head look smaller. Add them to the features above, and an unattractive type emerges. 4. Binge drinking. Binge drinking, squawking and falling over in the street is hilarious if you are the one doing it. If you are the spectator, it's less so. 5. Visible G-string. This is erotic, no doubt about it. Unless you haven't the figure to pull it off. Likely to provoke a reaction of 'Mother of G*d!' when adorning the pasty, blemished buttocks of the 'full-figured' young lady. Bad diet, no exercise, five-pints-a-night, then 'peek-a-boo!'. Agggh! I used to wonder why so many saucily-dressed young ladies walked the streets hatchet-faced. Now I now. Half are trying to ward off unwanted advances, the other half are annoyed they're not getting any! There's nothing sexy about contrived, blatant eroticism. What's erotic is what seems to be an accident. 'A glimpse of stocking is something quite shocking' etc. Likely to irritate female co-workers also. Assuming your company allows such clothing. It doesn't? I wonder why? 6. Swearing. Your gentleman friends might find this amusing, to your face. What they think in private is another matter. Habitual swearing is another sign of a depressed, angry person. It's unattractive. The more you do it, the more it corrodes your subconscious. 7. Breast Augmentation. Also known as a 'boob job'. These look fine, from a distance. Compared to a natural pair, they look odd. They are to real breasts what a transvestite is to a 'red hot mama'; no competition. Up close, they're just not as good as the real thing. A perfectly functional piece of equipment has been turned into a cartoon joke, with possible long-term medical consequences. Some men like small breasts. Beauty is a matter of proportion. Some women are neurotic about their appearance; nothing will please them. A good example is ... 8. Disappearing Eyebrows. They get plucked away to nothingness, then get drawn or tattooed back in. And this is better? One can end up looking freakish, even clown-like. Loss of hair suggests illness. Plucking out one's hair is often a sign of mental illness. Girls, desist! Don't try to gild the lily! IMPORTANT NOTE: There are people who'll encourage you in the above. They'll say you look lovely. Misery loves company, and some people delight in the fall of others. Be your own woman. Stand back from yourself, your life and your surroundings, and decide your own destiny. T. O' Donnell ( http://www.tigertom.com ) is an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK. His latest project is an ebook on conservatories, available at http://www.ttconservatories.co.uk T. O' Donnell freeware may be downloaded at http://www.ttfreeware.co.uk
Related News
Carolyn Hax - Washington Post
HARRY POTTER - WATSON DATING ITALIAN ACTOR? - Contactmusic.com
Miley Cyrus Opens Up About Dating Nick Jonas - E Canada Now
Brody Jenner & Frankie Delgado Share 4 Dating Tips - People Magazine
That game we play: The online dating dilemma - St. Joseph News-Press
That game we play: The online dating dilemmaSt. Joseph News-Press, MO -14 hours agoby Lacey Storer In my first year of dating in St. Joe, I reached a stage that all singles feel at some time, though few want to admit it: desperation. ... |
Cotton is reportedly dating Steve Jones - RTE.ie
RTE.ie |
Cotton is reportedly dating Steve JonesRTE.ie, Ireland -Aug 7, 2008Television presenter Fearne Cotton is reportedly dating fellow presenter and 'Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging' star Steve Jones. According to The Sun, ... |
On line dating results in charges - Bayshore Broadcasting News Centre
How to be a dating goddess - Courier Mail
How to be a dating goddessCourier Mail, Australia -14 hours agoIt’s also the title of his new must-read dating guide. The book is jam-packed with straight-talking tips on how to bag your man, and quite frankly, ... |
Jamelia's new dating show - TeleText
Jamelia's new dating showTeleText, UK -1 hour agoThe singer, 27, will present Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor, a series being developed by the makers of The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. ... |
Dating Diaries: What a Catch! - Washingtonian.com
Dating Diaries: What a Catch!Washingtonian.com, DC -5 hours agoBased on the applications for our new Dating Diaries features, Washingtonians are quite the find. Here are some highlights of what makes some area residents ... |
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Online Dating Tips for the Digital Age of Romance
We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. With these two
elements sharing our genetic code, we have little choice but to seek out
someone with whom we can feel free to share our romantic gestures. In
the Stone Age, this was accomplished much the same way as any survival
technique (i.e., hunting and gathering). In the Industrial Age, the biggest
change was that we looked and smelled better during our pursuits. Now, in
the Digital Age, we are more efficient with our techniques, electronically
speaking, however we have also proven that the human species has not
changed a great deal on this fundamental level.
Funnel Your Way to Love
I call it "The Funnel." And it's the best way to view your online dating experience. A numbers game it is, and your job is to funnel your way through prospects until you find what you're looking for.
?Dating Again? Redefined
Define dating again as The Joy Of Dating Again. It is all about rediscovering ourselves, and then sharing with others our growth and realizations.
How to Get a Girl to Like You
We've all had that special woman in our lives. You know... the one with the sweet personality, the really nice hair and a perfect face. She dates the more "adept" guys... but how can you get her to like you?
Online Dating Safety - Tackling Internet Crime
Online dating is a great way to contact and meet new people. Either for free or for a small fee you can have access to thousands of singles looking for love.
Why Do So Many People Date Online?
Once upon a time, online dating was a last resort, a joke of sorts for singles. Today, that is no longer the case. Millions of singles are now looking online for relationships. The reasons behind this new trend in dating are numerous.
How To Write A Successful Personal Ad
No one would know how good you are if you would not let them know about it. Whether you are promoting yourself for a job or for a date, you have to advertise yourself well.
How to Tell if a Single Woman is Really Interested in You
It's very important to learn how a single woman acts, speaks,
and uses body language around you that indicates that she is romantically or sexually interested in you. When you learn
these signs, you can use this to your advantage. If a woman
is truly interested in you, this really increases your chances
of scoring with her.
The Avenger v/s The Angel
I'm writing this for women and for men. I have to share this with you all. I met a guy a few months ago. He seemed like a decent guy. I met him at a restaurant, and we kind-of hit it off, so when he asked me to go out, I said yes. We became friends so to speak, on the phone or when I saw him at the restaurant. I started having doubts about him though when he would make plans and change them all the time, like I was on his schedule and had no life of my own. So finally I said forget it, this isn't going to work, it was even hard for me to be friends with someone who was so inconsiderate, so I told him not to call anymore. I saw him a few more times after that and he begged me for one more chance. I said to him, "this is it if you don't keep the plans, your just out of luck because I am only giving you this one opportunity". He called that weekend and I went out with him the next day. The date went fine, we had a lot in common and we had fun, he made me laugh and that was important, He said he knew what it was he wanted and he hoped we could see each other again. I agreed and left it at that.
Use This Rule To Survive A Loss
The intent of this article was to ease any trauma caused by break ups or permanent separations between two persons.
Dating Online ? Can Be Less Stressful
Dating is a challenge at any age and for both women and men. Ladies worry about your hair, your make-up and whether you look fat. The men worry is their tie straight (if they wear one), do they have enough money, and whether or not you will like him. Basically both sexes are worrying about whether they are liked and accepted.
Adult Dating: Friend or Foe - Your Sex Life and the Internet!
There was a time when finding a date, partner, lover or playmate online was frowned upon. It was for people who couldn't get a date any other way!
Oh how things have changed?not only can you sign up to a site listing thousands of singles who match your height, size, location and taste in food?now you can choose your sex partners too.
You Might Be A Stalker If....
Okay, so you wanted to know what your boyfriend or girlfriend was doing last night. And you needed to go to the grocery store anyway, so you thought since you were 'in the neighborhood', you would just drive by his or her house. Or you called your new love and he or she didn't call you back. So you called again. And then again. And then several more times. Could you be a stalker?
Got Attitude?
Probably you do have attitude, but what is it? Jaded, self-protective? Frightened? Is "scared to death" too strong?
Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker
Don't make these mistakes when searching for love online!
Internet Dating for Men
Over the past several years online dating has become very popular. Many men try this format of dating or meeting in an effort to meet someone special without the risk of face-to-face rejection. The unfortunate thing is, online dating doesn't work for men as the odds are stacked against them.
Six Things Every Christian Single Should Know Before Dating Online (Part One)
Years ago, online dating had a reputation that was less than desirable. But today, that stigma is quickly passing. Thousands of single Christians are currently finding friends and establishing relationships through online dating. Major websites like Eharmony are running huge advertising campaigns with great success. Online dating is becoming more and more mainstream, and the Christian singles community is jumping on board with both feet.
Online Dating Tips ? Creating Personal Ads
Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not difficult, but how well you write your personal ads will often be the difference between success and failure in online dating. All the rules that apply to advertising in business still apply, and those who define and attract their target audience will be the successful ones. There are many critical items that will draw interest to your ad such as the headline, and how the ad appeals to the interest of the target audience. There are also factors that will determine how well your ad matches with potential mates; including how well you describe your values and how honestly you portray yourself. Writing a personal ad should involve some serious thought and soul searching, as well as some in your face marketing tactics.
Look Your Best With Some First Date Grooming Tips
So the big night is quickly approaching, your first big date with the cutie you have been eyeing. So what do you need to get ready for that first big date? You need to look good! First impressions are everything, and everybody likes to know that they are with someone who values and takes care of themselves, so put the extra effort into looking your best.
Online Dating
Dating has become easier for everyone due to the emergence and success of online dating websites. You can choose the site that suits you best, look for people who have the features you desire along with common interests and contact them immediately. Some dating sites are featuring their own instant messaging for members to instantly communicate with each other. This is a great way to make contact and get excited about a new 'date'. But when you start chatting back and forth, the other person is typing recognizable words along with small clusters of letters here and there. What are they saying? These are considered to be 'Net Lingo' and are commonly used Internet acronyms.
|
